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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29193513">Pale Fire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicholeVakarian/pseuds/NicholeVakarian'>NicholeVakarian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:35:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,193</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29193513</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicholeVakarian/pseuds/NicholeVakarian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She wants nothing more than Solas to realize his home is with her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Lavellan/Solas, Fen'Harel | Solas/Female Lavellan, Fen'Harel | Solas/Original Female Character(s), Lavellan &amp; Solas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Please… I can’t go on like this anymore. I’m tired of the worry. I’m tired of waking up feeling nothing and having to pretend.” She could feel her eyes beginning to burn, a sure sign that the tears would start flowing. “Why can’t you come back?! Why can’t you accept what is and stay with me?” Sorrowful eyes looked back at her, offering nothing more than pity. The silence surrounding them was starting to become too loud. She was tired of having this same conversation night in and night out. Tired of pouring her heart out to someone who seemed to care less. The burning in her eyes slowly started making its way to her throat, the familiar tightness threatening to strangle her. “Solas, I can’t keep doing this. You invade my sleep every night and torture me with your image, with your presence. You stand before me and offer me nothing but silence and pity. If you’re not here to be with me...then why are you here?” </p><p>Silence once again filled the room. This was a dance they both knew too well. She’d cry and yell, he’d stand there and take it. Then he’d disappear like nothing, just to return the next night and continue the cycle. However, tonight felt different. The tension and pain reached an all-time high and seemed as if an explosion was imminent. She stared at him and took him in. He stood tall, as he always had. He still gave off that wise and mysterious aura, even though the truth had long been out. He looked exhausted, his eyes slightly sunk in. Evidence of little sleep and increased stress, nonetheless. Her heart ached. She wanted nothing more than to take him into her arms and hold him, remind him that he didn’t need to do this. To remind him that he had a home here with her. Alas, she knew it was in vain. His pride and regret would never allow him to be swayed off his path. Yet, the urge grew larger and larger inside her. Against her better judgement, she reached out to touch his face. And to her surprise, he didn’t flinch or pull away. </p><p>“Vhenan... please...” Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice. The magical tone igniting all her senses and taking her aback. How she longed to hear his voice, to hear him speak her name. “Vhenan, you know what must happen. You know that this is doomed and it’s best for me to leave and allow you to find happiness in your remaining time. However, I cannot stand here and listen to you tell me how I feel. Regardless of what must be done, it doesn’t mean that my heart doesn’t ache for you every moment.” He grabbed her chin and raised her head to look at him. The sorrowful look in his eyes had vanished and been replaced with adoration. The very same eyes she stared into each night after he kissed her on the balcony. Her stomach flipped at the memory. The way his arms wrapped around her waist and drew her closer. His lips on her, soft and tender. She could never forget his lips and the way they made her feel like melting ice. </p><p>A low chuckle brought her back to reality, realizing that her gaze had been focused on his mouth the entire time. Her face flushed red as his hand began to caress the side of her face. His lips were on hers before her brain could even process the movement. The familiar feeling sent vibrations all over her body and she melted into his hands. He pulled back, his arms wrapped around her tight, but comfortable. “Vhenan, I would love nothing more than to be by your side...but we both know what my duty is. I must restore my people and in order to do so, this world must burn.” The words hit her like a ton of bricks. The last few minutes had left her in a world of euphoria and now it was once more in shambles. She began to pull away, only to be met with resistance. “Look at me.” She could feel him staring at her, yet the pain of his words had left her unwilling to move. A firm, but gentle hand once again reached down and lifted her chin. “Even though our fates fall on different paths, I can’t imagine not spending one more night by your side. Each morning, I wake up from our encounters and I curse myself. I regret the choices I made all those years ago because it means I lose you.” His gaze softened completely, and she reached her hand up, stroking his cheek before allowing her lips to meet his once more. </p><p>The familiar fit of his body against hers was a welcomed feeling. She wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him even closer. She wanted to hold on to this for as long as possible. Yet, it was fleeting as he pulled away once more. “This isn’t right, not here. We should do this somewhere quiet.” She smiled at him and her mind wandered back to the first time they’d kiss outside Haven. He had said those very same words and snapped his fingers, allowing her to wake up inside her cabin. She nodded her head gently; a slight feeling of dread as small doubts began to gnaw at her. She worried that she’d wake up to him gone, however she took a deep breath and placed her trust in him. Something she’d done all those years ago. </p><p>She awoke in her bed; the warm glow of the lanterns kept the crisp air outside at bay. Her mind was foggy, broken pieces of a late-night dream. The sound of footsteps slowly coming up her stairwell ripped her out of the fog. The memories from her dreams became flooding in his voice, his lips, his body pressed against hers. She got out of bed and rushed to her door, throwing it open as he reached the top. He stood before her once more. Only this time in the flesh. A sudden pain in her chest made her realize she stopped breathing, she let out a soft sigh and reached out for him. As if to confirm his presence was real, not a figment of her unrelenting desires. Soft skin touching soft skin was enough to quell her mind. </p><p>His brow pinched up, as if he was in deep thought. “You had doubts vhenan?” She looked at him, a smile tugged on the corner of her lips. She didn’t want to speak; she had done enough talking the last few months. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him close. Pressing her lips and body against hers. A soft moan escaped his throat, a sign that he had needed this just as much as she. She slid her hand up his emerald tunic, desperate to touch more beyond his clothing. He tensed up at her touch, then relaxed, slowly getting used to being touched one more. That was all it took before his desire took over and began undoing the various buttons locking her in. She grasped at his pants, struggling to get them down fast enough. She sighed, frustrated. He chuckled and pulled away. “Patience, my heart.” He grabbed her hands and pulled her to the bed they once shared. He laid her down and draped himself over her. His larger frame dwarfing hers immediately. The sudden pressure of him against her was almost enough to undo her right there. He nuzzled her neck, spreading small kisses around the area. He slowly made his way down to her chest, kissing the space above and between her breasts. Her breath hitched when she felt his tongue brush against her nipple, followed by the slight pinch of teeth. She let out a small whimper and caressed his arm. 	</p><p>The feeling of his tongue against her skin was too much. She began to feel as if she would melt into the bed before he was finished. He continued to pepper kisses down her body before he found his way between her thighs. He rubbed and kissed the outside of her thighs, slowly moving his way to the center of her core. She let out a small shout when she felt his tongue trail the length of her. He pulled back and looked at her with a cocky grin, knowing that he could still bring her to this level of bliss pleased him. He continued to ravage her, taking his time to suckle the little bundle of nerves between her thighs. Her moans began to fill the chamber and he couldn’t help but smirk. To think, he was the one only to touch her this way. Knowing how others longed for her, yet he was all she wanted. He pulled away, much to her dismay. He stood up, unbuckling his pants while taking her in. Her face was flushed red, her hair disheveled, her chest rose and fell quickly as she attempted to catch her breath. She looked at his member and started to move, ready to put him in her mouth and work those beautiful lips. He stopped her, laying her back down and kissing her gently. “Not this time Vhenan, let me do this for you.” </p><p>He spread her legs and positioned himself in front of her as he had many times before. The sight of her, spread out never ceased to be breath taking and beautiful. He placed himself at her entrance and stroked his member a few times. He pressed into her and melted when he heard her gasp and moan. He stood still, allowing her time to adjust before she whined for him to continue. He leaned back and wrapped her legs around her, enjoying the way she clenched around him. She was beginning to moan and move erratically underneath him, obvious signs that she was about to come undone. He began to thrust into her faster, positioning himself just right to hit that sweet spot. He wanted her to scream his name, let all of Skyhold know she was his. She tensed up and let out a long stream of curse words and praises to him. Hearing his name leave her lips was enough to bring him over the edge and spill his seed into her. </p><p>He laid down next to her as they both struggled to catch their breath. She looked over at him and smiled, her eyes full of love and admiration. A small ache tugged at his heart when he remembered that this was just a night. That come the morning, he would be back on his path. He pushed the thought out of his mind, content with laying here with her, even for just a bit. He watched as her eyes became heavy with sleep. “I love you Solas.” He took a deep breath as she closed her eyes. “I love you too Vhenan.” With that, she fell asleep and he was gone once more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The smell of honey and vanilla filled the air. Her heart sang a happy tone at the scent; it meant her mother had baked special rolls for her and her brother. It was a rare occasion when they were served, and it always meant good news. </p>
<p>“Lethallin, grab your brother and come inside! I have something for you!” As she turned to face her brother, the world began to crumble, piercing screams began to fill the air, people cursing the gods, wondering why they had been abandoned. The sweet scent had been replaced with burning flesh and death. She reached out to grab her brother,  only to watch him fall into the abyss below.</p>
<p>She jumped up, gasping for air. Her hair matted and brow full of sweat. Her hand was cold and clammy, a reminder of the fear that coursed through her body. <br/>The nightmares were progressively getting  worse as the days dragged on. She couldn’t remember the last time she had a full night’s rest without being startled awake. She let out a heavy huffand threw the covers off of her body, placing her feet on the cold stone that stung the bottoms of her toe and sent an immediate chill through her body which she welcomed. She knew it was just a nightmare, but the feeling of stable ground below her eased her aching soul. Her mind rattling anxiety was becoming uncontrollable and it didn’t help knowing that the love of her life was responsible for it. She rubbed her face and crossed the room to her water basin. She splashed coldwater on her face and smoothed her long hair. Taking a deep breath and exhaling it slowly, she looked up at the mirror and touched her cheek, staring at her reflection that was still somewhat a stranger to her. <br/>It had been 2 years since Solas had removed the Vallaslin, yet she still was fascinated with her bare face. Her mother and father had been shocked the first time she returned home and had barely recognized her. Their questions were endless, however her answers left them more confused.</p>
<p>A small smile formed as she remembered the night he took her Vallaslin. She recalled the giant, aching pit in her stomach when he told her the truth about the markings. The pain of realizing that they were just another mistake on the Dalish’s part was too much. Yet he managed to erase all the pain with a simple string of words. He had given her the choice and she had allowed him. His words of praise afterwards had reaffirmed her decision to remove them. The pain she had felt was replaced with the joy of knowing she was free from their cruelty.</p>
<p>A knock at her door brought her out of her trance, she grabbed her robe from the back of the desk chair and walked to the door. </p>
<p>She was greeted by a messenger who handed her a large stack of envelopes and disappeared down the stairs. She yelled her thanks and returned back to her desk. She tossed the usual Orlesian letters aside and opened a letter from Leliana. </p>
<p>It was a typical letter, full of joyful words regarding her nugs and hidden messages regarding the search for Solas. She tucked the letter into her book and carefully opened another envelope from Dorian. His curly, perfect handwriting flowed against the parchment beautifully. She chuckled at his jokes and was surprised when he announced he would be taking a trip south very soon. After the Exalted Council, Dorian had returned home to take over his father’s seat in the Magisterium. She grabbed at the crystal around her neck, a parting gift he had given her. She remembered the rare nights where she had lost herself in her mind and his voice had coaxed her out. This was a rare visit and it needed to be celebrated.</p>
<p>She sat at the desk and wrote a letter to Josephine, asking if she could reach out to some contacts and assist her in throwing a small celebration for Dorian. Once the letter had been sealed, it was placed on a messenger bird and sent off to Antiva. Until she received a reply back, there was little she could do. Unwilling to try and return to bed, she decided to get dressed and find her way to the dining hall. Divine Victoria had allowed her to retain Skyhold and a small army. She was forever grateful for her friend’s generosity. Cassandra had been an amazing ally, and there was nothing she wouldn’t do for the ones she loved. As she entered the hall, she was greeted with the beautiful scent of frying bacon and freshly squeezed citrus. She smiled over and nodded at the soldiers eating their breakfast. It was nice to see them being able to take a break and eat without fear of being attacked.</p>
<p>        	She felt a pang in her heart as she got closer to the rotunda near the front entry. Her mind screamed for her to stay away. “Why are you hurting yourself? Do you like feeling empty?”  She shook her head fast, as if it would rid her of the thoughts. She knew walking in there would hurt her, yet her heart strained and ached until her feet began to move. She crossed the threshold and her breath caught in her throat. Each wall was covered in beautiful, elaborate paintings. Ancient elves and large, unknown towering figures painted in vibrant, warm colors. Her fingertips traced the sharp lines of the murals, reveling in the cool sensations against her skin; the rough texture of the walls catching her nails. A faint smile lifted the edges of her mouth, she remembered the nights he would come to bed late. Covered in paint, dark circles dancing under his tired eyes as he discarded his clothes besides the bed. A happy memory that she’d hold close in her heart for eternity. </p>
<p>	“I’ll never get over how amazing these walls are. I always wondered what his inspiration was. Always too nervous to ask, however,” Bre chuckled and removed her hand from the wall, sadness filling her soul as she pulled away. She looked over at Harding, relieved to have someone else to focus on. Harding crossed the room swiftly, handing Bre a large stack of documents. She bit her lip, looking at her now empty hands with faraway eyes.</p>
<p>“Is everything alright?” Bre asked gently. The scout’s hesitation worried her even further, Harding was never one to back away from tough field reports. It seemed like ages before Harding let out a sigh and rubbed the back of her neck. “Well… It’s just that…”  Silence once more filled the air, panic settling in her chest. <br/>Before she could gather her thoughts. Harding began to speak again. “These letters were left for you in our last camp. Another scout found them sitting near the fire.” </p>
<p>Bre cocked her eyebrow, curiosity getting the better of her. </p>
<p>Harding continued: “The thing is, we saw no one come in or out. It’s as if they appeared out of thin air. That only leaves one person…” She cut off abruptly. Bre knew what she meant. <br/>Ever since Solas revealed his plans, everyone avoided speaking of him unless necessary. They didn’t think of the Inquisitor as weak or delicate, they simply wanted to avoid adding additional stress. Bre let out a soft sigh and put the papers down on the empty desk. She dismissed Harding with a simple gesture and felt a wave of relief fall over her. It had been a few weeks since she’d seen him. She knew the night they spent together felt like a mistake. She didn’t think it would cause him to vanish. She folded the papers gently and began walking back towards her quarters. As she passed the tables full of food, the once sweet smell of bacon had turned rotten. She held her breath and walked faster. She chuckled: “It’s amazing how a bad mood can ruin one’s appetite.”</p>
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